Day 76

Benjamin and I were alone for the morning. We went to the Galeras beach, where we played in the sand for a while. A group of tourists drove up, and a woman asked if she could have her picture taken with Benjamin. I don’t know if she thought he was a Dominican kid hanging with me or if she just needed a child of color in the photo to prove she was here, but I told her to ask him. He said no, and walked away when she tried to sit next to him.

We went to a party at Arturo’s. It was a birthday party for his niece, who was 4. Arturo’s wife, Anna Marie, had invited us earlier in the week. She told us the kids’ party would last for about an hour in the afternoon, followed by the adults’ party. She told us they could give us a ride home before the adults’ party.

We arrived at Arturo’s house, dressed casually, to find Anna Marie and the kids dressed up. We walked down the road to the house where the birthday party would take place. There was a mix of children and adults, with a group of teenaged – possibly 20-somethings? – decorating the house and yard with balloons and ribbons. The younger children all kind of stood around, while the adults grabbed chairs and sat in rows under the tree, watching the young children not know what to do. After a while the guest of honor – Arturo’s 4 year-old niece – showed up with her mother. The girl was dressed up in what can best be described as a wedding gown. When she showed, everyone with a camera immediately went to action – all the children were grouped for photos, with the guest of honor standing like a Barbie doll in various poses and groupings. After an hour of this, everyone went back to standing around. All along a loud and raucous music – a combination of Dominican merengue, baccata, and rap – was blasting from the house. One of the teen girls kept asking anyone near her to dance, with no takers. After a period of refusals, she was finally taken up on a dance with someone who turned out to be her brother. They started dancing in front of the rowed chairs of 4 year-olds in front and adults in the back. The dance turned out to be something called the “doggie dance,” which involved some acrobatic, clothed, simulated sex. The 4 year-olds acted like nothing unusual was going on, while the adults in the back – thank goodness shock is a universal emotion – looked at each other incredulously.

I had to pee at Arturo’s niece’s party. In the past I know that it’s no problem to go in back of whatever house you are at. This house, however had a birthday party going on in front of the house, in back of the house, on the sides of the house, and inside the house, so there was no clear outdoor bathroom option. I decided to walk out to the road, and figure something out there. When I got to the end of the driveway, I saw a local guy hanging out. I asked him where I could go to the bathroom, and he said (my interpretation includes his hand motions) “everywhere.” I said “here?” as we stood on the side of a road that had considerable traffic- both auto and foot. I then pointed at a group of women who were walking right at us and were about 100 yards away. Surely, I thought in this macho culture, peeing in front of women is one cultural embarrassment that is avoided. Nope. He said “si” and acted as if I’d asked him if the dinosaurs were still dead. So I peed right there, extremely conscious of the group of people walking towards me.